Hello Again! Another week passed already! My!!! Doesn’t time fly…..
Last week we were talking about change, and overcoming difficult changes, this got me thinking about some of the changes that had occurred in my life and the lessons which I had learnt from them. The one thing about change is that it makes us behave in a different way and it is this change of behaviour which moulds our understandings, perceptions, reactions and can evenlead us away from accepting our part in these emotions or reactions. Sometimes when we are in a situation it is very hard for us to recognise the part we are actually playing, it is often far easier to see the part others play than what is going on from our side. What happens externally for us; appears to take the lead or the hold and it becomes very hard to establish what is beyond our control and what is within our control. This leads me on to this week’s topic and this is all about Responsibility… our responsibility as individuals’.
I have an absolutely lovely metaphor for personal responsibility and it is all about owning what is actually yours!
Personal responsibility is like building a flat pack piece of furniture, as you read the instructions and put the pieces together it starts to take shape, then you take a look at it and the pieces appear to be not fitting correctly or they are not bringing you the result or the look that you wanted. What can you do about it? Well obviously if something is missing you will have to find the extra piece but if it is a mistake that you have made, though misreading the instructions, putting a piece in the wrong place or generally (as I have often done!) rush as you want it finished quickly who can you blame! You are building the furniture and the furniture is taking shape as you have created it, but if you make the furniture incorrectly you can always take it apart, take another look at the instructions and rebuild it in the correct way, accepting your mistake and allowing yourself to learn and recreate the furniture in a way that is accepting of the part you have played in its creation.
This is my metaphor, after many years of building flat pack furniture it suddenly dawned on me that I can’t get angry or give up blaming everyone and thing for my lack of studying the instructions properly.
So personal responsibility is about just that, making sure we understand the part we are playing and accepting ourselves and our flaws and then moving forward and learning from the mistakes we make.
How often do we blame others for things that are within our control! For example you often hear the words stated ‘you made me do that’! Often what we say to ourselves internally is reaching out for an external answer as it is hard for us to accept that actually we may have some parts of ourselves which could be developed but if we embrace our flaws, weaknesses and differences we can learn develop and become better human beings.
Quote for the week:
Personal responsibility is not only recognizing the errors of our ways. Personal responsibility lies in our willingness and ability to correct those errors individually and collectively.
Book Recommendation: Games People Play Eric Berne (an interesting read and we can all see some of ourselves in this book!)