How well do we know ourselves? That is a good question!
We all think we know ourselves and yet sometimes we suddenly do something that we feel is outside of who we see ourselves to be.
Interesting that isn’t it! How we can surprise ourselves. There have been so many theories and writings on the self and it is just those unique moments that bring it home to us that the ‘Self’ is not a static thing that it can develop and grow as we learn and move through life.
Our outward learning can take place in a number of ways. We may distinguish ourselves by things we like, habits or qualities, the culture, life conditions and economy we have been brought up in, or the peer groups we associate with. As we grow and live we develop our values, purpose and meaning and then we present our identity; which can be in a continual state of change. We can be one thing in one situation and another in another; but what is important is that we understand our true self, even when we know that sometimes we have to assume a particular behaviour, personality or set of conformities.
One way we can develop our unique personalities yet embrace understanding of others is to consider others opinions and belief systems. This doesn’t mean that we have to compromise our own; but it allows us to take a look at, explore and recognise; what has become a way of thinking for them and why it has become so. Putting yourself in another’s shoes is a good way to avoid becoming inflexible and it also helps us to take steps towards taking responsibility for the way we are, the good bits and the not so good bits.
When things become difficult for us; it is often because we are not hearing ourselves clearly, we are not taking note of our inner self and who we really are and what we really want, too often people can identify with the role they assume and that role is not really who they are. Finding the truth about ourselves helps us to know the truth about the outside world, we only know the world from our unique understanding.
Quote for the week:
‘Society exists only as a mental concept, in the real world there are only individual’s’
Book recommendation: ‘Counselling for Toads: Robert De Board’ (Join toad finding himself, his own feelings and developing his emotional intelligence.